This morning I woke up at 5.30am. Read the news. Got angry. Got up. No coffee. Sobbed into the cafetière. A first world problem compounded by a series of ‘really universe?’ moments from the last few days.
Individually, these types of stresses are no big deal. In fact they don’t warrant blog column inches. But we all know, every once in a while a series of events come together in some sort of cosmic cluster to mess with our heads.
At a very busy time of year for my business, with meetings, deadlines, workshops and events we are also organising our daughter’s birthday party then attending sports days and end of term drama performances we are dealing with an elderly family member in hospital.
Thankfully family and friends rally round to support her but through a couple of hospital faults with her care, we are putting extra energy watching them like a hawk. Plus then we are relaying messages to other family members, phoning round to co-ordinate who is visiting when. It’s exhausting. I refuse to blame the staff who are doing the best they can with the resources they have.
I’ve lost 2 work days out of my schedule which doesn’t sound like a lot and I easily wrote a plan to claw back on top. The plan involves some late nights and 5am starts but altogether possible. But then I start to feel dizzy, get headaches and a sore throat which won’t quit. I have a cold. I’m forced to bed instead of tackling deadlines.
Then yesterday evening, I accidentally shut my youngest’s little finger in the kitchen door, not seeing her standing behind it. I was about to dish up tea, so while frantically getting our shoes on for a trip to A & E all I can think about is how the kids won’t have eaten.
After seeing the injured finger gaining movement within minutes, I calmed down and phoned 111. Through a detailed phone consultation with a paramedic we ascertained it was manageable at home. The girls have their tea and rare mid-week treats because of the drama. My eldest knocks over a full jug of squash on the floor which usually would have me having me sobbing but I just laugh. Things could be a lot worse.
So when I stared at the empty coffee packet this morning I started to feel very sorry for myself indeed. Throw me a bone universe!
But within minutes I give myself a stiff talking to. “Get over yourself Claire. You’re healthy, you know where your next meal is coming from and have a roof over your head with clean, running water. This, is just a blip, a test.”
I draw a deep breath as my priorities begin to settle in front of my eyes. Drama in a coffee cup over.